The break up of a family is absolutely traumatic. No Ivy League school needs to conduct a study to support this. While I don’t compare the emotional fallout in these situations to that experienced by battle-tested soldiers or gangsters, I do believe that a parent suddenly stripped of the right to see their child(ren) whenever they please can possibly suffer trauma on a parallel level.
Suffering in silence is not a true measure of masculinity. Willingness to seek help from a therapist or some other form of support seperates serious dads from those preoccupied with archaic macho stereotypes that just don’t play in today’s world. Suppressing powerful emotions is like plugging a worn tire — sooner or later, air will simply find another escape route, possibly via blowout while you’re doing 75 on the interstate.
Talk the feelings through. Think them through. Roll with them. Work them out. Following these steps not only allows you to move forward with your growth as a person, but it contributes to you being a better, more focused father. What could be more important?
Working with a therapist or seeking support during a time of crisis is not a sign of frailty. Indeed, it signifies a deeper understanding of human nature than men have allowed themselves throughout documented history.
No father is an island.