Defending Dads

You're doing your jobs. You and your kids deserve better.

Uncommon Endurance

One thing about that proverbial road to Normal is it’s fraught with obstacles.

If I were to write a full account of the challenges I have faced these past four years, I would have to break it into double-digit posts. Even now, I face another quagmire that is a direct result of this recurring nightmare.

Some problems have been more difficult to resolve than others, but all of them together have transformed my life into a protracted chess game. I never know who might be calling me or what I’ll receive in the mail and it just doesn’t stop. I’ve done this for too long. Even marathon runners get tired.

But this post isn’t about belly aching. It’s about preparing men who will face this situation for what lies ahead. It’s a pat on the back, a shoulder to cry on, a call to arms.

As badly as you undoubtedly will feel from time to time, you must dig to depths you could not fathom. You must be resourceful in ways you never thought possible. And you must endure. Endure.

You are a father. You have brought life into the world. Your kids are not only watching you, they are depending on you, even if you only get to see them every other weekend.

Brother, and by brother, I speak of all men who know this struggle regardless of race, religion or creed, you can do this. The game of football features many “busted” plays that, through the ingenuity and perseverance of players involved, result in big gains or scores. As the expression goes, we all must “play to the whistle.”

You love your child(ren). Let that love sustain you through the loneliness, the anger, the indignation, the constant struggle, the court dates, the sense of alienation, the utter nonsense. Over the years, thousands of us have run this race. There isn’t a mud run in the world that could measure up.

The difference between mud runs and pulling a life together after the nuclear holocaust of divorce is that running a few miles a day and cross training do little to prepare a man for carving himself out a new world. Mud runs definitely take some grit, but resurrection? That feat requires uncommon endurance.

Don’t you quit.

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