Defending Dads

You're doing your jobs. You and your kids deserve better.

Keep ’em Busy

Think about it, man; kids need to stay busy. Busy kids don’t watch much TV, kids who don’t watch much TV don’t see commercials, kids who don’t see commercials don’t ask for every dadgum thing they see in the stores and kids who don’t ask for every dadgum thing they see in the stores save you money!

Ahh, but you ain’t out of the woods yet, Charlie. Depending on your kid’s activity of choice, the money you save from keeping her/him in the dark about Hasbro’s latest shakedown will go right to Dick’s, Guitar Center, Michael’s or any place else that knows they have you on the hook like a bigmouth bass. Dads, as I once heard in a movie, you can pay through the nose or bleed through it — if you’re not creative like your boy here.

Ahh, but you ain’t out of the woods yet, Charlie. Depending on your kid’s activity of choice, the money you save from keeping her/him in the dark about Hasbro’s latest shakedown will go right to Dick’s, Guitar Center, Michael’s or any place else that knows they have you on the hook like a bigmouth bass. Dads, as I once heard in a movie, you can pay through the nose or bleed through it — if you’re not creative like your boy here.

Hip hop taught me when I was young that the past is often the greatest inspiration for the future. James Brown was known as the hardest working man in show business, but the money he made from hip hop artists sampling his work was his real pay day. Ten years after his death and perhaps 40 years after his hey day, discerning ears recognize his unmistakeable influence on modern pop music.

My thinking is why limit proven logic to music? Why not put it to the test with child rearing? Before Xbox and little league and permission slips, how did people on the American frontier keep kids occupied? They put ’em to work, that’s how! Up to the middle of the 20th century, kids in the U.S. worked as hard as any day laborers to be corralled at a shape-up. Rather than siphoning off a majority of their household’s incomes, kids of that era augmented them. Imagine that! So, rather than coddling my kids and paying dearly for the privilege, I’m putting their narrow behinds to work!

Why, even now, they’re fixing their own brunch as I lie on the living room carpet banging out this post. After brunch, they’re going to clean up after themselves, then I’m renting them out to a local dairy farmer for the rest of the day while I watch ID Discovery.

Objectives achieved:

  • The kids learn self-sufficiency and the value of a day’s work;
  • I get to look down from my ivory tower on strangers who screw up badly enough to wind up on TV; and
  • There’s a little extra money coming in.

If things stay this way through their puberties, they’ll be too busy — or tired — to do anything I will regret. Now THAT’S kickin’ it old school.

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