There’s only one bad thing about visits: They end. For the benefit of non-parents, dropping the kids off is like returning a rented Mercedes to an Enterprise lot, then walking home. Through a hurricane.
I can handle it now, but it definitely took a while to adjust. Consistency is key for fathers AND children. Everyone has to know that the visits will occur at regular intervals.
I hear some guys get every other weekend. Imagine the work it takes to maintain a strong bond with kids who visit less frequently than a lawn care crew.
My first two attorneys were brutally honest with me about visitation scenarios. It was all routine to them. I got a sense that most fathers don’t openly object to such a dismal status quo.
My former attorneys seemed annoyed that I found the idea of twice-monthly visits unacceptable. They each emphasized that fighting a custody order would be expensive and labor intensive. When I suggested it was time custody orders better reflected modern lifestyles, my second lawyer said “you’re talking about something that won’t change during our lifetime.” They sounded like doctors trying to talk me out of removing my own appendix.
Fortunately for me — and the kids — the question of visitation has worked itself out, but man, do I feel for guys who don’t have it so good. Then, I wonder when they are going to stand up.
Saying “bye” is never easy, but over time, it does lose its sting. Practice makes perfect, after all. I just feel blessed that the kids and I get our reps in once a week rather than twice a month.